How to Approach Fussy Eating with Families

I have been working in the early learning sector for almost ten years now as an educator and as a cook. I love love love it! I love the interactions with the children and how much I learn from them. Even when I teach them, I still learn: I learn that applying my training does get positive responses from the children. And that is a very rewarding feeling indeed! 😊

I also love the interactions with other passionate educators and cooks who, undoubtedly, have the children’s best interest at heart. They too teach me so much. And again, it gives me immense pleasure to give back to them as I help them - wearing my nutritionist hat - learn more ways of supporting children’s relationship with food.

That’s a very complex aspect of early education because it often involves emotions, at times, strong emotions, which blurs a bit the sight of how it should be handled. So, when I realised the impact early learning professionals could have in a child’s food education, I decided to focus my efforts as a children’s nutritionist in helping them doing that confidently.

As a nutritionist, I specialise in childhood avoidant eating (aka fussy eating), and, in almost all workshops about how to manage it that I present to early learning professionals I get asked this question: “How can I approach this issue [fussy eating] with families?”

The concern is related to how to bring a conversation about with parents and other caregivers that won’t be received as judgmental of their parenting.

So, here are my suggestions on how to go about this:

Make sure it is relevant

First, ask yourself these questions: Is that child hitting their milestones? Are they typically developing, physically, cognitively and emotionally? In severe cases of malnourishment, children may fail to develop as expected. Pay attention to these aspects of their development: attention span, working memory and visuospatial ability*.

Also ask yourself this: Is that child generally in good health? A runny nose here and there is fine, but recurring infections, and absence and early pick-up requests due to illness can be red flags about a child’s general health which may be related to poor nutrition.

Another important consideration in your decision should be if the family had shown signs of being concerned about the child’s eating habits and nutrition.

Also, weigh in the challenges you and your colleagues face day-in-day-out if that child happens to cause significant disruptions during mealtimes.

My suggestion is that you collect your considerations as I mentioned above and discuss them with your colleagues who also interact with that child. Involve your supervisor and/or educational leader as well. Then, make a collective decision about the relevance of raising the issue with the family or not. This way, you’re not putting yourself at risk of being dismissed neither accused of being nosy or judgmental.

If you end up deciding not to approach the family or if you do, but they don’t get on board, but you still feel that it is important that you do something, you can still act on it. Keep reading.

Education is key

If you’re not yet confident enough to approach a family to discuss their child’s eating habits or if the family doesn’t want to hear nor talk about it when you can see it’s important that they do, it is a clear sign that more education on the topic is needed. That could mean educating the family, but it could also mean educating yourself and your colleagues as well.

Make sure all your staff is on the same page regarding feeding practices at your service. It is important that you have solid practices in place for dealing with feeding challenges, meaning that your food & nutrition policy is widely understood and applied by all staff.

If you’re just only starting to address avoidant eating, start by reviewing or even writing for the first time your food & nutrition policy. Then, download this eBook I put together with my top five strategies to stop food refusal in the ECEC setting. It’s free and it will give you a good insight into what is possible to be done and achieved.

You can then seek more training for yourself and your colleagues. Educators and cooks have basic training on children’s dietary needs and feeding strategies, even about addressing avoidant eating, as part of our qualification. But, if food refusal feels like a recurring issue at your service, it is your evidence that the level of training in that aspect isn’t enough to effectively handle the challenge. So, further professional development may be what you need.

Also, educating families on attitudes that promote good eating habits for children is effective and highly popular. You can handout educational resources via your regular newsletter, socials, notice board and organise information sessions. You can use these opportunities to highlight your team’s efforts and successes in supporting the children’s food education and health. And you can do it in a generalised way, without targeting any family which will avoid shame and embarrassment.

These will help you build the foundations of your service’s practices related to food education.

I wish I had a more straightforward answer that you could simply ‘copy and paste’ to start a conversation with families about their child’s eating habits, but I am very sure that if you go through the process I suggested above, you will, along the way, find the answer you seek. 😊

If you want to have a look at our families information sessions and workshops for early learning professionals, follow this link or drop me a line.

*Effect of nutrition intervention on cognitive development among malnourished preschool children: randomized controlled trial. (Study, 2023, India)